method – 10 – Tension energy

Tension Energy – 

Under certain circumstances, an oscillating tension may develop between the contents of the knowledge containers. You must work with this tension. You are then on the trail of something. In my research, for example, these included German shepherds, hair, feet, eye color, body measurements, but also the significance of antique furniture, silverware, mantel clocks, and candelabras. You articulate your feelings in a comment section. With a search command, you move easily between the cells of the computer program. The volume of documents grows.

The work of delving into this dark abys of human nature is hard. You have to prepare yourself for a long dry spell until you’ve fought off the censor within yourself, resolved the conflict, and given up loyalties to people.

During this process of reconstructing family history—which can take years—you become unable to function within the collective, because a gap emerges between you and the prevailing social mindset. You see the problem you’re grappling with in the outside world as well, and that leads to friction with others there. In the public you recognize now a latent presence of what you previously considered private. Something shifts inside you.While you’re straightening something out, you end up on the sidelines. You break the cycle.

Photo: March 21, 1933 – Reich President Paul von Hindenburg, 1.98 tall, legitimizes Adolf Hitler and the NSDAP with a handshake. @photo – imago/arkivi